My daughter descends from her bedroom and announces that the end of the world is nigh because neither of her favourite programmes – Mock the Week and That IT Crowd – is currently running, so no one is pirating them for YouTube. Woe is she. And why, she goes on, are they so stupid as to broadcast them at the same time, so she cannot have one while the other is off-air?
Ah, I reply sagely, what you’ve got her is the difference between capitalist and socialist programming. Capitalists really care nothing for you listening pleasure: their real purpose is to prevent you watching the competition. So all the best shows air simultaneously. In a socialist broadcasting universe, I go on, the toiling masses would strive to ensure that everyone could watch everything. So they’d put Mock the Week and That IT Crowd on at different times.